


We Can't Possibly Do That; Who'd Clear Up The Mess?

by ConeyIslandBlitz



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Birthday Sex, Cosplay, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub Undertones, Episode: s05e05 Demons and Angels, Light Bondage, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Quentin Coldwater Lives, Red Dwarf References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:42:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25407829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConeyIslandBlitz/pseuds/ConeyIslandBlitz
Summary: In which Quentin Coldwater celebrates his 28th birthday with a new fandom, and a new tradition. Eliot eagerly becomes part of said tradition.
Relationships: Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28
Collections: Quentin Coldwater's Birthday Smutfest 2020





	We Can't Possibly Do That; Who'd Clear Up The Mess?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I'm super nervous about posting this fic bc it's a little... Red Dwarf heavy, but it's not a crossover bc Quentin and Eliot are watching the show. 
> 
> This is part of QCBS2020 and the theme was Quarantine. I chose to run the Red Dwarf route with it.

This was only the second year in a row that he was doing it, but Quentin Coldwater had made a new yearly tradition that in the weeks surrounding his birthday, he would marathon-watch this British show he'd newly become a fan of, called Red Dwarf. The previous year, he'd received all of the DVDs as a gift; from season one, all the way through to The Promised Land, by some miracle. There was no name, only that it was from a 'secret admirer'. Of course initially, he was naturally suspicious because he deliberately never told anybody in his garbage coven of friends when his birthday actually was - except Julia, but they've been friends since childhood and she'd been awfully preoccupied with Penny23 lately so naturally she forgot - so he couldn't think of who else might get him such an... Unorthodox gift. He wasn't normally a sci fi guy, but he had to admit: this show was funny, so he was thankful to his 'secret admirer' for their efforts to cheer him up somewhat. He felt like these days, the only person who gave a damn about him was Eliot.

_ Eliot. _

_ It has to be you. _

After all of the events pertaining to the Monster, the Dark King, and creating New Fillory, he felt like he needed to truly detach himself from Fillory once and for all, and latch onto a new escape; this new escape came in the form of the JMC mining ship Red Dwarf. And he latched on _hard_. So hard that he found a new hobby that he'd never dabbled in before: cosplay. So, his full yearly tradition was this: he would marathon watch Red Dwarf, in his first cosplay creation, which was Rimmer's red and white gingham dress with a bonnet and a blonde wig in pigtails, and army boots. And he had specifically requested to be left alone for this, because if they couldn't appreciate his love for Fillory in the past, why would they appreciate his love for the Boys from the Dwarf? This year's gift, from the same 'secret admirer' who he'd just sussed out was Eliot, was something incredibly hard to come by indeed: the Red Dwarf novels.

He'd gotten to the episode Terrorform, which was a particularly difficult episode for him to watch. He didn't hear Eliot walk in and sit down beside him; in fact he hadn't registered his presence until he wiped a single tear from his cheek.

"You should really skip this one if it hurts you so much to watch it, Q," Eliot said softly.

"I know, but I'm a completionist. You know this," Quentin replied, not taking his eyes off the screen, but leaning lightly into Eliot's touch. Eliot wrapped his arm around Quentin, who reciprocated by curling up next to him.

"So why  _ does _ this episode affect you so much, anyway?" Eliot asked, out of benign curiosity.

"Because I know what it's like to be under attack and taken hostage by your own mind," Quentin explained without hesitation, "this psi-moon is a pretty accurate visual depiction of my head on a bad day. And with you gone, every day was a bad day. This episode is the reason why I relate to Rimmer so much; he and I are both full of neuroses, albeit with different origins. I just- I understand where his mind is at, and it pains me to see that the others don't," he continued, very much on a roll, "I- yeah. I know what it's like to feel completely alone. Like Rimmer often does." Quentin sighed, unable to articulate the thoughts still running through his mind. Eliot just stroked Quentin's arm absent-mindedly, and said, "Q, honey, you're never alone. Remember that. But if you like I can go, so you can continue your marathon in peace."

"No. Stay. Please. I, um. I need you with me," Quentin pleaded, before getting distracted and exclaiming, "Oh look, next episode is starting! This one is called… Quarantine."

"Yeah, okay," Eliot conceded, a spark of joy filling his heart to see his boyfriend -  _ no, not boyfriend, just friend _ \- smile for the first time in what felt like forever.

Quentin was pointing out who was who, explaining little bits of backstory about each character that Eliot missed in all previous episodes, and eventually they got to the point in the episode where Rimmer was wearing the gingham dress.

"Ooohhh, now I understand your choice of outfit," Eliot said with a smirk.

"Yeah, it's from this episode. This isn't my only cosplay costume by the way; just my first," Quentin said, almost teasingly.

"Oh yeah? What others have you made?" Eliot asked, his interest piqued.

"Mm, no spoilers, but I think you'll love it. In fact, it's something I'd like to see  _ you _ in; you've got the legs for it," Quentin said, with a confidence he hadn't felt in a lifetime, as he rested his free hand on Eliot's thigh, trailing it upwards until it was dangerously close to his crotch. Eliot's breath hitched at the gentle sensation, trying to hold it together, letting Quentin set the pace.

"So when do I see this other costume?" Eliot asked, keeping his voice as even as he could.

"Next ep," Quentin answered, looking Eliot in the eyes, a mutual hunger brewing between them; the past two years, there had been a tension between them that they both had to suppress because they had bigger fish to fry at the time. But at last, they were for once alone, together, and nothing could stop them from acting upon their desires. Eliot cupped Quentin's cheek and pulled him in for a kiss before he could stop himself, and Quentin reciprocated with an unexpected enthusiasm, pulling Eliot closer to him.

They continued to make out, hands exploring each other's bodies, and Quentin was sitting on Eliot's lap when he heard the words  _ 'looking for someone?'  _ spoken so tauntingly. 

"Oh El, look look look, here it is, here it is, my other costume!" Quentin said excitedly, pulling away to show Eliot what he was referring to: Low Rimmer, in those same army boots, fishnet stockings, tight leather booty shorts, a very low-cut tank top which barely covered his nipples, leather fingerless gloves, a skimpy leather jacket with long feathers, and a leather studded collar covering his whole neck, all in black, a nose ring with a chain attached to an incredibly gaudy large earring, and his H askew, almost like it was about to fall off, smoky black make up and hair short and flat. Eliot was stunned; he imagined Quentin in that outfit, which was hot enough, but he could see why Quentin wanted to see him in that outfit. Eliot paused the DVD on a full body shot of Low Rimmer, saying how he wanted to hurt Lister.

"Damn, I know he's meant to be evil, but that is one sexy costume," Eliot remarked, pulling Quentin into a straddling position on his lap, the skirt of the gingham dress lifted up for easy access.

"I know; just think how gorgeous you'd look in it, with your hair all loose and wild the way I like it," Quentin purred, rocking against Eliot without hesitation at the thought of being utterly dominated by a Low Eliot. Quentin buried his hands into Eliot's ungelled hair and devoured him in a desperate kiss as he rubbed his free, hardening cock against Eliot's jeans. Eliot slid his hands underneath Quentin's gingham dress to grab his buttocks, and gave a small hum out of pleasant surprise to feel that Quentin was indeed going commando.

"Naughty boy," Eliot growled against Quentin's lips, making him groan desperately.

"So...? Punish me," was his immediate reply without thinking. This made Eliot moan even louder into Quentin's mouth as they kissed with a burning hunger that they felt could never be sated.

"Mm, shame I don't have my holo-whip with me right now… so  _ this," _ Eliot paused as he squeezed Quentin's throbbing cock, eliciting a silent gasp from Quentin, "will have to do." An evil smirk crept across Eliot's face as he saw Quentin try and fail to resist thrusting into Eliot's hand. Eliot gradually softened his grip, and teased the head of Quentin's cock with his thumb, which made Quentin shiver. Eliot decided to be extra cruel and slowly stroke Quentin's cock a few times, then let go, making him whine in frustration.

"Patience, my pretty. I'm not done punishing you yet," Eliot whispered against Quentin's lips, pulling the short sleeves of the dress down so that Quentin could lift his arms out and his chest - and nipples - could be exposed. The bodice of the dress was left to gather around Quentin's waist, and Eliot traced his fingertips across Quentin's skin as gently as he could, which drove Quentin absolutely wild with hunger and desire. Quentin felt a sudden restriction on his wrists, and he knew he was right where he wanted to be: completely at Eliot's mercy.

"Get up," Eliot commanded; Quentin obeyed wordlessly, "and on your knees, Kitten." 

Eliot shifted forward so he was sitting on the edge of the couch, he slowly unzipped his trousers, allowing Quentin to see the bulge coming from his boxers, then pulled his deliciously large cock out for Quentin to ogle as he slowly stroked it to get it hard. Quentin's breath hitched, and he licked his lips, feeling a need to take Eliot's cock into his mouth. Eliot let out a filthy moan as he slowly jerked himself right in front of Quentin, and when he was ready, he held his cock in one hand, grabbed Quentin's hair with the other, and guided his cock into Quentin's mouth, easing it in so he wouldn't gag.

"You know what to do, Kitten," Eliot said in that same, even, commanding voice as he let go of his cock, trusting Quentin to take its entire length, which he did. Quentin bobbed his head back and forth, sucking Eliot's cock like his life depended on it. The feeling of Quentin moaning on his cock was making Eliot want to thrust deeper down Quentin's throat; he was close to climax when he pulled Quentin's head away from his cock.

"That's enough, Kitten. Come here," he commanded, beckoning Quentin upwards with only two fingers beneath his chin, and invited him to straddle him again, and as he did so, he lifted the skirt of Quentin's dress once more for the same easy access that he'd had before. He stroked Quentin's cock nice and slow, making him thrust into his hand for more friction.

"El- Sir… please…" Quentin begged, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

" _ 'Please',  _ what, my pretty?" Eliot teased, still stroking Quentin.

"Please, Sir, fuck me," Quentin said, correcting his apparent mistake. Eliot smirked at the sight and sound of his lover falling apart at his touch.

"Don't you worry, my love. I will," Eliot said reassuringly, then whispered in his ear, "I will fuck you so hard you'll forget your own name." With this, Quentin suddenly felt his entrance get magically lubricated by his lover, who then guided him by the hips onto his cock, easing it into his hole slowly but surely, making sure Quentin took the entire length inside him. After a moment of gentle rocking, Eliot gave a single sharp thrust, making Quentin gasp and curse. Eliot then released the invisible bonds restricting Quentin's wrists, allowing Quentin to hold onto him as he gradually picked up the pace of his thrusting. Quentin buried his hands once more into Eliot's feral curls, moaning desperately into his mouth with every kiss and every thrust. To drive Quentin even closer to the edge of ecstasy, Eliot once again took Quentin's cock into his hand and began to pump as hard as he was thrusting.

"Don't cum before I do, Kitten," Eliot commanded in a low voice, and Quentin did his best to obey, as difficult as it was.

"Sir, Sir, I'm so close-" Quentin gasped, and cried out when Eliot squeezed his cock hard and slowed down his thrusting, kissing him deeply, both of them moaning into the kiss.

"I said, not before I do. And I could go all night like this," Eliot whispered teasingly, and Quentin was on the verge of hysteria, "don't worry, Kitten. You'll get your release soon enough. I'm not that cruel," he purred in reassurance, and he began to develop another steady pace of pumping and thrusting, all the while kissing Quentin, who was stroking Eliot's nipples over his shirt, bringing Eliot closer to climax so he could climax.

"Yes, yes Kitten, I'm close," Eliot whispered, moaning at the heightened pleasure he was feeling. With his last few thrusts he panted, and let out a satisfied groan as he came, filling Quentin up real good. He continued to stroke Quentin's cock hard and fast, chanting "come on Kitten, cum for Daddy," and Quentin cried out in relief at being able to let himself give in to the ecstasy of orgasm, cumming harder than ever before, staining his gingham dress, but he didn't care. He at last got the release he'd been begging for. He pulled himself off Eliot's lap, groaning at the sensation of Eliot's softened cock sliding out of him, and Eliot guided him down onto the couch next to him. First he tucked his cock back into his boxers and refastened his trousers, then he turned to Quentin, half passed out, and covered his chest once more with the bodice of his gingham dress, threading his arms through the sleeves. He heard Quentin whisper a small 'thanks', and he took Quentin into his arms once more, so they could catch their breath together, and continue their Red Dwarf marathon.

They'd wrapped up for the night after watching the episode Back to Reality, agreeing to continue with series six the following day. Once they were comfortable in bed together, both naked, they curled up together and had a cuddle. Quentin was the first to speak.

"I was only gonna jerk off tonight," he blurted out, "ya know, in my gingham dress. I always get turned on by Low Rimmer. I know he's evil but he could fuck me up and I'd die happy."

Eliot let out a chuckle, "well, I can definitely see the appeal. You've given me an idea for your next birthday by the way," he said teasingly, and pitched the idea of them both dressing up, doing some roleplay and performing for a camera. Quentin imagined himself getting dominated by Low Eliot, and could already feel himself getting hard again.

"Why wait until next year? We should do that next week. But until then, keep talking dirty to me, Daddy," he said flirtatiously, rolling over so he was on top of Eliot, pinning his hands down to the bed and kissing him with a renewed hunger like he hadn't just been fucked to oblivion, "I want you to lash me to within an inch of my life, and then I want you to have me."

"Oh Kitten, you  _ are _ naughty, I love it. And I love you," Eliot declared, now fearless.

"I love you too, El… Sir…  _ Daddy _ ," Quentin replied, grinding against Eliot in time with calling him Daddy, making him moan, and so he went in for round two of the most Earth-shattering sex he's ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> Honest thoughts, guys. Please.


End file.
